A Guideline For Using Household Objects As Sex Toys
31 Common Household Things To Use As A Dildo
This year was no different — at least until my family sat down to binge-watch Making a Murderer. I went to pull out my box bullet — to finish the job my fingers started — when I made a very upsetting discovery: I had forgotten my vibrator. I was dildo-less. My orgasm, which moments ago seemed just within reach, suddenly became a ton of work. Once home, that experience still fresh in my mind, I vowed I would never let it happen again. If I ever found myself sans sex toy, I would be prepared. I had to know how to masturbate with common household objects.
To make this toy, carefully cut the bell pepper on the diagonal so that the "bump" inside below the stem remains intact. Remove all seeds and trim the inner membranes around the protuberance. With a corer or knife, cut around the stem and remove it, leaving the rest of the cap intact.
Preferably, right now. Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! The best of the best makeshift penises for your entertainment!